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Sunday, November 04, 2007

Not Anything But Everything

I just had the most unusual date with my husband last night. Unusual as it was very ordinary, very unromantic, very not sweet and very not fancy.

After giving birth to Matt, our regular movie-house dates have shifted to grocery dates; romantic dinner dates to practical eat-at-home dates. I am far from complaining though, because I’d much rather that we both finish the hundred and one household chores while he’s with us than we gallivant around town and I will be left to tackle the chores after he’s left home.

Anyway, this one was not any of those practical or regular dates.

The venue was the most neutral and unromantic place – the office. My frigid (temperature-wise) office.

With my mother’s prodding, I had asked my husband out. I had asked him to accompany me because for some funny and very irrational reason, I didn't want to work alone on graveyard shift last night. And luckily for us, work, maybe because of the holiday, was non-existent.

So there we- both in our rattiest shirts- were hanging out in a frigid and sterile Control room, chatting quietly, talking nonsense. I swear we were not making any sense but I certainly wouldn’t mind spending yet another lifetime talking nonsense with my husband!

There were long but comfortable silent moments, with each one occupied with his own private thoughts. Parental-guidance moment, there was absolutely none. Nevertheless, it felt too good just to be with each other; a chair apart, not touching yet feeling the warmth and security of being loved all the same.

In the wee hour of the morning, we found ourselves sipping hot oat-cereal drink while laughing over Chuck and Larry’s movie.

And as we made our separate makeshift beds, by lining and joining gray ergo chairs, it dawned on me that it's not the food, the setting, the price, the get-up and the physical intimacy that measure the quality of a date. But it's the states of the mind and the heart.

We can have the perfect date but we may still feel discontented. But when we establish intimacy in the mind and harmony in the heart, everything just fall in all the right places. And we feel nothing less than wonderful. That was how I felt last night.

And before I gave in to peaceful sleep, I felt like we are two wackos who are really meant to spend the lifetime together.

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Regina said...

Ok, how sweet is that! You have found what people spend a lifetime searching for (in all the wrong places!). True love is hard to come by and even harder to keep!
Cherish every moment as if it is your last!

grace said...

Oohh, I hope he is not feeling a little shortchanged with the simple (no touching) date! :-)

It's nice to really spend time with each other, even without the perks of a normal date. Glad that you both had a great time.

maiylah said...

i definitely agree!
hubby and I have been in uncomfortable places before (even while in college, hahaha) but the idea that you're together and still be connected without touching is such a wonderful high. :)

WorksForMom said...

This was great Zam and I so can relate. My husband and I are also two wackos who are really meant to spend our lifetime together. Brilliant! :)

Raquel said...

What a nice entry..this is what we call the love/relationship between husband and wife. Great post Zam, I love it!

Sonya said...

I think this sounds like a sweet date. You're right when you say it's not all of the perfect settings that make a date fun, it is our attitudes. Sometimes, I would like nothing more than for hubby and I to go to the local coffee shop/bookstore with our laptops and sip on coffee for hours.

Melanie said...

How sweet- what a great post! I need some alone time with my hubby-a date like you just described is what we need right now!

allrileyedup said...

What a sweet story. My husband and I are definitely two wackos meant for each other...