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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Of yet

Roundtrip tickets, issued. Hotel accommodation, confirmed. Me, panic-stricken.


As the date of my flight (to Manila) nears, I am filled with worry. How will I survive the long lonely nights in a hotel room with only the TV (and a laptop) to accompany me?

I have a hard time sleeping. Because when I close my eyes, I would envision myself all alone in a neat hotel room in Manila. The orderliness bothers me (I am so used waking up with our room in shambles). The quietness gives me the goose bumps (I feel secured hearing the loud squeals and boisterous laughter of my son everyday). Security locks in the room makes me edgy (security is seeing and touching the people I love most everyday). I will have all the time in the world but I am unhappy and tense (relaxation is trying to beat the time and finish my chores while Matt is asleep).

And I blink hard and open my eyes, scanning the toys, books, pillows that litter our room. Seeing Matt’s Pooh Bear is comforting beyond compare! I lie awake for a longer period, scared that if I close my eyes again I will see a bleak picture of myself.

1 comment:

grace said...

when I came to Dubai alone for four days last year (for the interview) it was really gruelling. There was the excitement of seeing a new place and facing a new adventure but then, none of it mattered if it meant I would be away from the ones I love.

Good luck to you, I hope you won't be having a very hard time.