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Thursday, April 26, 2007

32 and going strong

I am awed. At this time of high separation / divorce / annulment rate, I am really really awed. And I am also proud of having these two people in my life who have taught me a million an one thing about loving and being loved. My parents. I have learned from them. A lot. And I am praying for them, for more years of togetherness.

I can safely say that they have weathered storms in their marriage.

Like any married couple, they have their share of heated arguments. And more. I've heard of my mother’s woes, there were times I saw her cry. I've seen them treat each other indifferently, the cold shoulder treatment always makes me uneasy. And their silence can be deafening at times.

In my not-so mature years, when I see withdrawal or when I hear them verbalizing their disagreement , albeit passionately, I thought they no longer wanted to stay married. I was so wrong. Later on, getting enough maturity made me understand. I know better, that not always being in-sync doesn't necessarily mean couples have stopped loving each other. It may be that they love each other too much, that they care too much. That things matters much they cannot let it pass that easily. Or that they are exercising their individuality. Many reason, maybe we cannot even fathom some. And being married myself, I learned some more about the sugar and spice of marriage. And there's a whole lot more to learn.

Despite being at odds with each other at one time or another, not once did they neglect our needs. I cannot remember a time they withdrew from us - my siblings and me because of their misunderstandings. There was never a time that they made us feel less loved. We are always their top priority. Our level of importance must be "highest." Really. And I have no reason to believe otherwise. They showed us - and are still showing us how important we are.

I also learned that some things doesn't really matter much. What really matters is to love, and to love some more. To forgive, and to forgive some more.

I have learned from their example that deciding to stay married, one has to allow his/her partner to have a time and space to simmer. A time and space to cool down. A time and space to be alone. A time and space to miss the other. A time and space to love him/herself. A time and space to be a better person.

32 years and yes, going strong. I've seen a lot in their being a couple. I knew some sacrifices they made for each other, some may remain unknown to us. I've seen the love they have for each other. I grew up seeing and feeling this love. The fun times. The laughter, that bounces in the four corners of our house. There was even a time when I believed that they have made a separate world of their own, just the two of them in it. I still do. It must really be true. But I have never felt alienated with this thought, but rather comforted that they found a peaceful haven just for the two of them. Lucky them.

Happy 32nd Wedding Anniversary, Ma & Pa.


grace said...

Congratulations to them! I wish my marriage would last that long and longer too!

ZAM said...

Yup..Me too..