If I am MIA here, I might be tapping the keyboard at MaKiMeJi. Come join us there.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Penned by ZAM at 2:11 PM
Thursday, December 28, 2006
I have finally decided to visit a salon to have my hair done. After a looooong time. Must have been a couple of years or so. Many months ago, I could have gotten a perm or something if not for the following reasons. First, I got pregnant. And during the entire length of my pregnancy, I have not done anything to my hair. And I have totally stayed away from chemicals – unnecessary beauty products included. True, I only kept to a shampoo- conditioner- soap routine at that time. Then, I gave birth and decided to breast fed my baby. So even after giving birth, I also had second thoughts to have my hair done. Apart from the fact that I don’t have time to spare for a salon visit (a luxury I have only dreamed of), I reckon to protect myself and to spare my infant from any contact of any chemical of sorts. Especially since I had been breastfeeding. Later on, I had experienced “falling hair” which may be caused by hormonal change/imbalance, again eliminating the possibility of treating my hair. And so by choice and by chance, I skipped the trips to the parlor.
So after quite sometime, I had considered doing something to my hair, maybe straighten or rebond my hair. But have not really quite gotten into it. Until now. I had thought, it’s now or never. And I have decided to really see an expert for once (Note: I've had straightened my hair somewhere before and the result was horrible.). And this is the time. I am also doing this for the simple fact of pampering myself. Now, pampering is too lavish a word..but honestly I rarely do this. I mean, I have not pampered myself since I gave birth to an adorable son. And I am rewarding myself this time for being a slave-mother..heheh..
So off I went to a salon my officemate recommended… surrendered my fate to the hairdresser who held me captive in a salon chair for hours…and just when I thought I’m already done, the hairdresser announced to my surprise to iron my hair in segments..that’s about 3 hours of being immobile..of praying hard that I will not get seared with the 120-C iron..of enduring the heat..of straining my neck and heating my bum.... and then came out of the salon 5 hours later unscathed and already sporting an uneven just-below-the-shoulder straight hair.
For now suffice to say is that I am satisfied.
Penned by ZAM at 4:54 PM
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
We will be meeting my hubby in the church today for MN’s burial. My parents,my sister and my son will be attending. My Tito and Tita (mother’s side), my cuz Ruby and my nephew, Andrei will be there, too.
As the funeral service progresses, the finality of it keeps on ringing in my head. So this is the final farewell. I really feel sad. Sad, knowing that my son will never have the chance to see and know her lola. Sad, for my husband because I know how much he cares for her.
Penned by ZAM at 2:11 PM
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
This will be the last day of the MN’s wake so I decided to bring Matt along, with the promise (to
my mother) of getting home before it gets late.
My son with his babyish understanding of the world around him is having a grand time walking, running and playing. It’s already passed his bedtime and I know he must be exhausted yet he is not yet asleep or hinting that he’s sleepy.
Must be 10PM when we – me, my sis and Matt- decide to go home. And because we’re looking for a taxi cab to bring us home, we had to walk few meters to get into the main traffic (DVSoria strip). Thus, Matt had his first DVSoria trip tonight (pics below: with Papa).
Penned by ZAM at 4:48 PM
Monday, December 25, 2006
My husband arrived in CDO today. Truth be known, I am feeling anxious because I don’t know how he would react when he sees the wake.
He seems relaxed while playing at home with my son. I felt his happiness upon seeing and holding Matt. But I wonder how he truly feels under that casual veneer. I only got my clue when we’re climbing the stairs to the room where MN’s wake is. He said he’s nervous. I could have stayed home with my dear son today (to celebrate Christmas Eve), but I’m glad I chose to be with my husband when he faces the reality of MN’s death.
Christmas Eve: We spent it in MN's wake, along with my husband's relatives
Penned by ZAM at 3:45 PM
Sunday, December 24, 2006
We just finished saying our communal prayer for MN’s soul. I checked my phone and saw a call from my husband that I missed. So he’s already in the country, at last. Maybe he’s just landed when he called.
Minutes later, I’m already listening to his voice on the other end of the line. How I missed him. I’m so glad to be talking to him.
Penned by ZAM at 3:43 PM
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Today is my husband’s birthday. At an entirely difficult situation, I sent an email of greetings and telling him of MN’s passing. It was a hard feat for me. I tried to be straightforward yet sympathetic. Realistic yet positive, in my email. And I hope I am successful.
I really am so worried about my husband’s disposition when he hears (err, reads) the news.
Penned by ZAM at 1:33 PM
Sunday, December 17, 2006
I had a hard time sleeping last night. First, because my son is having trouble sleeping. Matt kept on tossing and turning around in our bed (makeshift) in the middle of the night which is quite unusual because he’s been a straight sleeper for a few months now. Between 230 and 3AM, he woke up again giggling and wanting to play. Even when all the lights are out (including our night lamp), he refused to go back to sleep. I had to hold him in my arms to calm him down.
Second, I keep on checking my phone for any urgent messages about MN.
With all these, I woke up very early in the morning despite the sleepless night. My sister-in-law left a message in phone saying that MN is already looking for us. In her state, I know I should be bringing my son along but common sense told me not bring him. Because, in times like this, bringing a baby (hyperactive, at that!) would just pose a problem. So alone, I set off to the hospital. On my way there, I received an email from my husband (his reply from my email informing him of her mother’s state).
When I arrived, the doctor was already talking to Joy, her husband and my other sister in law –Inday. The doctor said MN’s not gonna make it for long. It’s just a matter of hours, days.. “maybe 3 days or maybe hours from now.” The infection she contracted stole the days of her life. The oxygen and antibiotics are now her only sustenance; these may prolong her life, but not really for long.
Her sisters and brothers surrounded her in her hospital bed, keeping watch since last night.
Before noontime, her siblings are slowly taking turns talking to her. When they prodded me to talk to her, I willingly obliged. I know I am here not only for myself but to make up for her son and her grandson’s presence, as well. I assuaged her, told her not to worry about us, that we’ll be okay. She just nodded her head. Instinctively, I held her hand. Because I know, this might be the last. I cried thinking that his son and grandson may never be able to hold her hands and see her alive. Silently, I offered a prayer for her healing, and peaceful rest – to spare her of this agony and pain. That is the only best thing I can do at that instant.
Few minutes before 3PM, MN passed away.
Penned by ZAM at 4:24 PM
Saturday, December 16, 2006
I woke up early in the morning with a message on my mobile already waiting for me. My sister- in- law said MN is already so weak.
I took a hurried bath and finished my breakfast as fast as I could. I was already in the city, when my sis-in-law texted me again saying that they are bringing MN to the hospital.
I arrived in the hospital ER to find MN lying in a stretcher. Skinny, yellowed and weak. Vital signs were no longer favorable : BP and glucose count were too low.
My father in law was already by her side.
I was beginning to worry as I stare at her wasted condition. I must admit that I am not so comfortable looking at her, wincing and writhing in pain. I feel so sad thinking of the woman she’s once been- robust, healthy and beautiful.
Few minutes later, her doctor spoke to Joy and me. His news is not pleasant either, as expected. MN’s health is rapidly deteriorating. He’s suspecting an infection in the lung (causing her breathing difficulty) that’s why he’s recommending an X-Ray exam for her.
Before she was ushered in the X-Ray Room, I saw her vomiting/spitting (blood) and alarm bells rang in my head. I asked to take a leave to get some money in the bank.
When I came back, I also brought Coke in cans and M&Ms for MN (she might need these to get her sugar at a normal level).
Penned by ZAM at 2:20 PM
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I didn't know that I was in for a pleasant surprise when my sis sent me an invitation to view her online pics..Boy, what I saw merits a portion in this blog..heheheh.. and a whistle..witwit!
I am only too happy for her..For the stuffs she's been able to do, places she's gone to and things she's seen.
So here she is..Presenting my sis in her winter-party regalia...Tadaaa...
Years and years ago, I would have thought that she can be contented with a shirt-jean garb. I am mistaken.
Penned by ZAM at 2:57 PM
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The Balikbayan package, which my sister sent and one that we've all been waiting for, came at last.
Clothes, mostly for me and my other sis. Polos for Papa. Shoes, for the three of us--Mama, my sis and me (but all ended up to be Mama's..hehehe). Wallets, again for the three of us. Toys for my son. Home decors. Toilettries, for everybody. DVDs.
Wines. Rice. And chocolates - loads of it.
My sister, she must have been hoarding these thing all this time. LOL..And the extravagance. She has sent us twice this year! Not that I am complaining, far from it. In fact, we are all soooo grateful for all her gifts because she always put an effort to include everybody (well not everybody but immediate family and some close relatives, I mean). Really. I'm just amazed at the things she bought for us. And she never forgets to send something for her nephews and neices, as well.
When I think about, she can very well do so and not spare a thought about it. She can afford the luxury of shopping for her kinsmen because she's still single and is not supporting anyone but herself. (Which is something I cannot say for myself.. lol)
Penned by ZAM at 12:05 PM
Monday, December 04, 2006
At last, I found the PB’s fall finale episode in the net after days and days of searching. What a fruitful day today is! After series of searches, my patience paid off. Nice reward, I’ve got.
I know, I know. I’m kinda far behind from schedule but boy, was I so darn happy that I found it (and able to view it!). Last week, despite my better judgment, I was not able to keep myself from reading the summary. But it didn’t lessen my anticipation; if it were possible, reading even fueled it some more.
I could have cared less that the episodes (from you tube) were chopped into parts, I’m too engrossed to the series of events unfolding before my eyes. I must give credits to the writers/directors and the peeps behind this great show. And for the superb storytelling.
I must say that I am far from contented after seeing it. I am clamoring for moooooore! My God, I am thinking of the word “sobriety” just now. This is really what the producers are expecting, right? But this is clean fun, y’know. And I can’t wait for next year’s episodes. Too bad, I have to wait for more than a month before I can see the new episodes again.
I- along with the rest of the PB addicts- will be waiting. Sure thing.
Friday, December 01, 2006
At last, I was able to open my mail when I got in the office today. I wasn’t able to do so at home. Must be because of the bulk of the attachment that opening it using my phone this morning is a hopeless case. Just when I needed to.
So this is the email that my husband sent the other night which I didn’t receive--that he had to resend last night. These are his pics, must have been taken during one of their excursions somewhere in Cebu. He had this “sniper” attire on and I have no idea when or where these were taken. I am surprised; and it's a pleasant feeling.
As I was staring at the picture on the screen, you bet that I really am smiling. But deep inside I’m throbbing with -fine, let’s admit it- this thingie called loneliness. I can’t help it. Miss my hubby, big time. Esp that he’s flown to Japan just this morning (and will be staying there for 3 weeks or so).