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If I am MIA here, I might be tapping the keyboard at MaKiMeJi. Come join us there.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Thoughts, thoughts and thoughts

This seems like an ordinary day. Today. But two years ago, Cristopher & I tied the knot that made us one before men and God. T'was a simple wedding ceremony, attended by relatives and close friends.

We love each other, no doubt about that. Despite the oddity of our living arrangement, I've never regretted the decision I made 2 yrs ago. For two years now we've been living our lives away from each other. He, in cebu; me, here in CDO. We've been like this eversince the courtship started. We'd see each other once a month when the schedule permits or only during holidays.

After I gave birth, my hubby comes home on a monthly basis. But I really never knew what it was like to be married with someone you see everyday; someone, you share your meals and bed with everyday. I dont want to sound melodramatic now but I can't help but wish that someday - in the near future- we'll be living together.

For Matt's sake. I wanted my son to know how wonderful it is to be growing up with a father whom he can interact with everyday. I want him to see his Papa when he wakes up every morning. I want him to feel the joy of having a father- who gives him piggyback rides, hums him melodies, gives gentle massages and more. Just like me.

And for our marriage's sake. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband; I believe that we both love each other enough to make us true to the promise we made. But lately I realized that I am becoming more and more self-reliant with each passing day. There's no need to be alarmed (but still, there's no use to be complacent). Because it occurred to me, out of the blue -- what if time will come that I'd get so used with our present living arrangement that I might cease to long for the company of a husband. What happens then? Boy, I really am afraid of that.

(P.S. Hon, I wish I could have shared this with you in person. You would have been so proud. Matt rolled on his stomach by himself today)

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