Thoughts, thoughts and thoughts

This seems like an ordinary day. Today. But two years ago, Cristopher & I tied the knot that made us one before men and God. T'was a simple wedding ceremony, attended by relatives and close friends.

We love each other, no doubt about that. Despite the oddity of our living arrangement, I've never regretted the decision I made 2 yrs ago. For two years now we've been living our lives away from each other. He, in cebu; me, here in CDO. We've been like this eversince the courtship started. We'd see each other once a month when the schedule permits or only during holidays.

After I gave birth, my hubby comes home on a monthly basis. But I really never knew what it was like to be married with someone you see everyday; someone, you share your meals and bed with everyday. I dont want to sound melodramatic now but I can't help but wish that someday - in the near future- we'll be living together.

For Matt's sake. I wanted my son to know how wonderful it is to be growing up with a father whom he can interact with everyday. I want him to see his Papa when he wakes up every morning. I want him to feel the joy of having a father- who gives him piggyback rides, hums him melodies, gives gentle massages and more. Just like me.

And for our marriage's sake. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband; I believe that we both love each other enough to make us true to the promise we made. But lately I realized that I am becoming more and more self-reliant with each passing day. There's no need to be alarmed (but still, there's no use to be complacent). Because it occurred to me, out of the blue -- what if time will come that I'd get so used with our present living arrangement that I might cease to long for the company of a husband. What happens then? Boy, I really am afraid of that.

(P.S. Hon, I wish I could have shared this with you in person. You would have been so proud. Matt rolled on his stomach by himself today)